How to Rebuild Your Self Esteem After a Breakup

You never know when it will happen to you. Chances are that someone broke up with you when you were a teenager or when you were in your early adult life, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t find yourself on the wrong end of a divorce later on in life, too. Learning how to rebuild your self esteem after a breakup is something that everyone needs to learn at one time or another and it can really make a difference in how quickly you bounce back and get on with your life.

How long it takes you to recover from a breakup will obviously depend on your particular circumstances and in some cases the results of the breakup can be completely catastrophic, in terms of your finances, your children, where you live, and even your job. When you learn how to rebuild your self esteem after a breakup, you will be better able to deal with whatever it is that is making your life so miserable and here are just a few of the tips that can help.

  1. Keep a Diary. This may seem like an old-fashioned method of tracking your feelings, but most people find that a diary, a journal, or just nightly notes to yourself can help you sort through your feelings. However, this is not the kind of information that you should put up on your “blog” for the world to see. This information is private, for your eyes only, and is a method for you to evaluate your feelings and to eventually look back on how you felt in the beginning and see how much you have grown.
  2. Take a Look at Your Health. Especially when you are still in the midst of a breakup, the last thing on your mind is eating a healthy diet or hitting the gym, but those are really two very important things to do. You might not want to go to the gym, but once you get there, you will feel better about yourself and the endorphins you kick up in your system will make you feel better for hours to come. And, by leaving the junk food behind, you will actually be giving your brain its best chance to maintain a steady mental state during the tough times ahead.
  3. Try to Enjoy Yourself. Most of us make some pretty big concessions when we go out with someone and especially when we get married, so try to think back to the good times you had before you met that person. Chances are that you took part in a sport or hobby that you gave up because of them or you had friends that you no longer see. Try to remember the things that used to make you happy, whether it is a shopping trip with a friend, an afternoon at the miniature golf course, or just a good book and a cup of tea on the couch. In other words, try to get in touch with your old self again and find out what you like to do.
  4. “Fake It ‘til You Make It”. This is an expression that is often used in “12 Step Programs” as a way to help people through the tough times they experience when they are stopping whatever behavior it is that they were addicted to (drinking, drugs, smoking, sex, gambling, etc.). You might not be completely over the relationship that has just ended, but one way to learn how to rebuild your self esteem after a breakup is to simply pretend that you are over it. Try to be cheerful and put a smile on your face even if you feel miserable and what you might find is that your cheerfulness actually becomes a pretty good habit to keep, not to mention the fact that you will attract other happy people to you.

Obviously, every case is different, and the way you feel after your breakup will depend a lot on how much time you had invested in it, where you thought it was going, and how it ended. The most important thing to remember is not to blame yourself and even if the other person is to blame, try to put it past yourself as quickly as possible. That way, you will be able to move on with your own life with no bitterness.

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I’ve located a couple more articles that will give you some extra insight into boosting your self esteem after a breakup…

“Set new goals for yourself. It could be something that you wanted to do a long time ago, but just wasn’t able to do it. Sometimes breaking up with some is one of the best things that could happen to you. Now that you have plenty of free time, enrol in class, to learn new skills.” Read more… How to Build Back Your Self-esteem After A Terrible Break-up.

“Visit friends and family. Relationships will come and go but friends and family are an important part of your life. They support you and you’re always guaranteed they are looking out for you.” More reading at… How to Boost Self Esteem After a Break Up.