Building Self Confidence in Adults – One Step At A Time

If you are the kind of person who is lacking in self-confidence, then you probably see confident people as “cocky” or obnoxious. This is because you weren’t brought up in the same way that they were and you may have been told that there is a certain virtue to being polite or humble – which there is. But, when it comes to your lack of confidence getting in the way of living your life, then you have an altogether different problem and you should be looking at ways to begin building self confidence in yourself.

Confidence is the belief that you are worthy, that you should be respected, and that you have the ability to do pretty much anything you set your mind to. It doesn’t mean that you run around bragging about your achievements, though self-confident people will tend to have more accomplishments than those who don’t.

How To Start Building Self Confidence in Adults?

It can be hard to look at yourself in the mirror and admit to yourself that you aren’t all that self-confident, but the truth is that those around you already know it and you may be the last to find out. So, if you have been told that you are lacking in self-confidence or you are starting to see other people forge ahead when you could have snapped up the same opportunity, then now is a great time to start to change your life.

The first thing that many experts will tell you to do is make a list of the positive things about yourself. These can be physical aspects, such as “I have a great smile.” They can also be emotional or psychological virtues such as your ability to handle stress or how kind you are to strangers. It doesn’t really matter what it is as long as you can start seeing the good in yourself.

What About Looks?

It is a shame that our society is so centered on physical appearances, and that those who were naturally born in a certain way get benefits that the rest of us don’t. However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t enhance what you do have. For instance, take a look at the way you take care of yourself, how you do your hair, how you smell, your hygiene, and your clothing. You don’t need to spend a fortune to “make over” yourself, but even small changes can make a difference and when you feel good about how you look, you will notice a significant difference in your self-confidence.

Exercise

Many experts begin building self confidence in adults through the use of exercise. Once you fully realize what your body is capable of, such as running a 5K or learning how to play a new sport, you will feel different about yourself. Setting an athletic goal and working to achieve it will make you feel as if you are worthy and you aren’t just sitting back and watching life pass you by.

In addition, exercise can do a lot to change the look of your body, your posture, and of course your weight, and when people see an athletic you walk in the door, they will have more respect for you than if you were overweight and slouching.

A Different Perspective

I’ve just found this older article (but still highly relevant today) on building self confidence. Farouk Radwan in his article 3 Steps For Building Self Confidence: It’s Not What You Think makes an interesting point about affirmations possibly having a negative effect on you rather than positive. In it he says…

Say “I like myself” every day out loud: Not knowing the fact that the subconscious mind refuses to accept beliefs before solid proof is provided. Your subconscious will respond to this message saying, “Really, why do you feel worthless then if you like yourself?”

Repeat affirmations: Not knowing that saying “I am confident” while you are not makes the subconscious mind believe that you are fooling it and thus results in bad emotions such as shame. A recent study has proven that people who repeat affirmations that are against their true beliefs about themselves tend to feel down, guilty and less confident.

I tend to agree with what Farouk says in his article, so whenever I do affirmations, I always start with the words, “Just imagine being…” instead of saying, “I am…” This is far easier for your subconscious mind to accept, and it actually forces you to visualize having the thing you desire.

Why Do You Need Help?

Even though a psychologist might tell you that you should find the core to your lack of confidence before you embark on a system of building self-confidence, this is not always necessary. We all carry around a certain amount of baggage in our lives, and sometimes that baggage is sometimes best left unvisited. You may be scarred by your upbringing, by a particular event, or even because of the way that you appear to others, but that is never an excuse for not building self confidence.

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One unique thing about boosting self-confidence is that it has a snowball effect and once you start to take tiny steps in the right direction, you will notice that big changes start to happen. You won’t be completely self-confident overnight, but by learning about confidence and what your needs are, you might find that there is a supremely confident person living deep within you.

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